Thursday, April 22, 2010

The Conundrum - Single? and still on the shelf?

In every woman there is a little girl that still yearns to be the only one for her hearts desire. If you look around and you don't have to that far, you will find divorcees stealing quick glances at each other when they think no one is watching or ex-lovers still talking about each other when they are reminded of their favourite restaurant or that familiar alluring scent and the most devilish of all - that intoxicating dessert that led to other things. But - not all of us have lost the ones we love and remain single, most of us dust of the war wounds from the previous romantic liaison and prepare for new adventures, new love battles and new happy endings.

I find myself in my not-so-late 20's (and i say this with much conviction), surrounded by single women - all the time. Women still looking for love, women getting over love and women well quiet frankly giving up on love. What hope do we have to find our soul mate when our experiences however mild or fiery have left, a shall we say not so sweet taste in our mouth. Are men degenerating as a sex or have we become accustomed to higher standards - for everything. We can blame evolution for all our woes and misfortune but knowing more about ourselves is really whats causing this dilemma - we know what we want and we''ll be damned if we settle for anything less then the best.

Take a look at the friends we keep and the shoes we buy - if we are that meticulous about the people we let into our lives or what we put on our feet, you best be sure we're going to take our time choosing a man that fits all our requirements. But having asked some of my single, ferociously independent colleagues - what they look for in a man, i have come to the conclusion that we are all sadly looking for - God. Men, bless their dear hearts are not perfect - and I'm afraid never will be.

So where does ''keeping the faith'' come into play? A phrase that passes more then one of our perfectly glossed lips on a daily basis, a phrase that has given most of us some comfort in the fact that - it's not over, tomorrow is another day and great things can and will happen. Why do we lie to ourselves and each other - unless psychic we have no idea what tomorrow will hold but we as a ruthlessly supportive tribe stick together and hold each others hopes high - because if it can happen to 'her', why cant it happen to me - right?

I find single women in their late twenties looking for answers to questions that are simple, trying to find a more suitable spiritual path when they should know better then to think religion will solve all their problems or even changing their life-style to make room for a mate because a feng shui book said so. Yes, we are busy - being career women as we like to call it becomes a nice comfortable excuse for being - alone right?. Believing in God gives us hope and assures us that whatever our relationship status in life is, it will be OK! Faith and hope and belief that you are going to find Mr. Right is a mirage - a little fantasy we created whilst thrusting a Ken doll at Barbie when we were five and still believed that when people get married they don't get divorced.

I wish more women would start being honest, brutally so - to themselves! If it doesn't feel right, if he's not pulling he's weight, if he's caused a stress-related breakout or break down - chuck him - there's sure to be a slightly better version that needs fixing around the corner and for the ladies that are waiting for Mr.Perfect, Mr.Gentle-man with the good looks, nice manners and the steady job - think again - he doesn't exist entirely. Realize that you deserve better and sometimes better just means accepting reality, embracing it and living life without a headache.

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