Tuesday, June 30, 2009

~Seduced by my instincts~

As if the wind had danced in swirls - pushing against her furry body
she balanced her stride and only thought of one voice
the voice - that could carry her home

she strutted through the wind swept meadow
keeping her eyes fixed on the horizon
there were no animals that kept her heart company
only the hard air like a beating drum from the skies
her thoughts were pure and focused
her limbs keen and study

she blessed herself with thoughts of encouragement
little mantras and cheers to keep her going on
the journey she started not too long ago was almost at an end
this sorrowed her to a point
but she was not one that mellowed in finality but rather rejoiced at re-birth
she kept her eyes on the prize and gallantly walked towards the sunset

the mystery that she unleashed in the past few weeks
had opened her eyes almost as if another dimension had been in front of her the entire time
she was pleased with all the results
not everything she wished to happen for others did
but this will not be a quick sand of concern that struck more time
she had blissfully taken over her spirit and was now heading home

the view ahead echoed freedom and what she left behind
she will never look at again
when you have an idea - that soon gives birth to a plan
and the plan in turn bares results
what better way to celebrate in your victory
than cat strut - all the way home!

Thursday, June 18, 2009

~The spirit inside~

I have always felt like I have a conscious thought - a voice inside my head that tells me whats right from wrong, a voice that questions everything i do and intricately watches the ways of others as well. This voice i would hope was my instinct and what i hopefully have discovered over the years is that when your ''spidey-senses'' wake the only thing you can do is listen - listen to the conscious voice. In essence, this psychism as i like to also call mine - drags up images of future events before they happen. Now not everyone can, share in this sometimes painful gift but it has helped me along the way from removing myself from unsavory situations before things get out of hand.

I can not be condemned for knowing these things and at the same time my reactions may cause much distress to others - but - the space i lend to any situation should not be taken lightly. It is TIME offered to the one that needs to learn the valuable lesson. Now, one may think that i am playing god, judging and sending out the jury on my whim but truth be told - i judge no one - i only wish the desire to learn upon others so they may lead a better life. A friend once told me i don't have thick skin, that she could only accompany people that bore this mark of armor - inside i felt deeply effected by such a bold remark - is this what we have friends for - to burn them. So i tested the waters the only way i knew how - let people play with no intervention from my behalf. This in many situations can have lots of results.

In the past, it showed me people that are willing to learn, people that have taken responsibility on their various issues but unfortunately it also showed me another side. A flippant disrespect to the true meaning behind everything, do spiteful people deserve the wealth of a wholesome friendship? should i bare more time to teach the unskilled that friendship is not about control and selfishness but rather to think of others first.

I pray sick to my stomach that this spirit that lives inside me never dies, that the voice that i have grown to count on hopefully finds a home in you....take a minute to breathe in the sea-blown air...try and remember that family comes first...be open to the challenges of life and when you need help ask...but most of all - support your friends in their endeavors and don't ever take them for granted...if you are not happy, the only person that can change that is you...and change - please do because the scarring you wish to enforce - like on so many others you have hurt, will not brush my cheek...instead these are choices you make that make my conviction clear.

love* learn* live*

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

~Electric Dreams~

Sleep between the covers lay
eyes still open - head at bay
my sullen thoughts - the days conversations
brought to my head - much commiseration

We sat front row all clothed in black
kohl eyes, lace gloves
even some wore hats

My dream filtered through the breeze of the day
Whose chair did we miss? Did someone not stay?
My sight was hit by the smell of red roses
all but one crying - who did not stay over?

I chased my dream - bring me back to my room
for the dark angels face i would not assume
a shock of death woke up my soul
for in reality - your wake up call - is home.

~Sometimes we say things we Just cnt hide~ June-buggs*

nothing-ness silence..the draft of the unspoken..an over worn ex's shirt...the painting of medusa..your vino half drunk but tempting...your wish...the rain will wash away the bad people...you sing...piano plays the end is near...before the next chapter*

tipsy-ness...always brings me closure...gives me new answers to old questions...lets me wonder down a new path of mystery and sometimes makes all my wishes come true*** i ♥ vino

paper work finally reducing...should be done by Friday...stress levels calming to a pause--at last...loving the myprodol swimming in me...caught a guy at work watching porn*....yay!!!..new slave!!!...now just need 2 de-jinx the-jinxed-boy....and purrfectiOn~

busy weekend ahead....taking in all my meds....trying to give everything a time...loving the displaced silence...wish I could hold onto the quiet just a little longer...take a lesson from Jack to b more self--self--interested :D ignoring the weak+desperate!!....need to make a wish list*...my prize when all my missions are matched~

u think u know..but you have no fucking clue..going to watch this play out till the cards r in my favour...(:

the devil has the power to assume a pleasing shape!!...from which he takes your weakest passion and turns it into the lapping flames of hell...contains your lust - wrapped around untamed beasts and lures your soul to be his one and only meat*

i know something i prob should tell u -- to save u sum unwanted hart-ache -- but -- hey -- what the hell....sometimes i like to watch u cry*

the most comfort and peace you will get from life is enjoying the quietness of solitude...no ignorance pushed on you..no faces you would never miss to see...separated from revolt mankind...that is my pure bliss*

the devil made me do it...

when you look at me...i will turn to stone*...everything is dead here....everything is cold!!!!!

full moon...harvest moon...no fucking wonder...but enjoying the view...

how can u lead a charmed life whilst still being pulled by puppet strings...time to let go of the past + release the present..eventually I will b free*

hOodratts...sexy catts...feel the pain - left out from her reign...see the light - that Once took your sight...claim the whore that sucks out - your bore...rape the fact - u act like your more...kill the catt before - she makes it the law***

wants to tame your beast...

huh...feel incredibly detached....want cow~boy boots....*LiCk*

needs to see pookie pie tonight....Pish tosh for those that are still being told what to do...whose your puppet~master???

letting g...

following ha instincts for Once***letting go of suicidal relationships...tainted love...toxic fights...half conscious nites...lies...people that try to be wise...death stares...who cares...wear my vic bueo clip-ons because it reminds me of the crone...my rabbit fur boots - cos im not that old...happy to have everything in the world + nothing at all***

letting go of everything that once trapped your mind...may seem hard to do wen u want to - but is much easier wen u have to...this has happened before....should've known it would happen again...i have no time for violence...i prefer the deafening silence***

hitting it w.pOokie tonight cause we fly like that..yo!

always looks soo-pah cute in a guys t-shirt + a crucifix...meOw!

is One step closer towards her spiritual journey...lots to learn before I take action...*excited*

tea and tarot w.miss s...cause kella knows best*

knows everything is going to be better than before..just takes some time...learn to love and live...be pure of heart*...it will bring the greatest friendship*

''He that is thy friend indeed -- He will help thee in thy need -- If thou sorrow -- he will weep -- If thou wake, he cannot sleep -- Thus of every grief in heart -- He with thee does bear a part -- These are certain signs to know -- Faithful friend from flattering foe!!!'' |U_U| >>> William Shakespeare

to feel the wind lift up your hair--to see the light shine through the fight--to watch the maiden take ha bow--to see the jester fail to row--to see the pain dance far away--to live the life where angels sway--to hear the ringing sound from ears--to kiss the lips that caused no tears ♥

feels like holding a sermon...if i could --- i would...but ill just get tipsy and banter along...need a soul to entertain...feel like birdcage and hunters :D

if it looks like a slut + talks like a slut...it probably even walks like a slut...guess what the mother-fucking thing is a -----> slut!!!

dont wanna have another ''who-r-we??'' nite just yet...thinking dvds + yumm food with pookie* then a spiritual awakening with sage and votive candles*....time to cleanse...and harmonize the the energies that escape us***

cant believe shes awake and breathing and conscious for a sat. morn...feeling strangely improved + healed + powerful***lucky catt back cause i know im better than that***meOw!!! |>_<|

is so close to bliss* I can taste it...yummm!!

fixed my soul -- now got to fix this bootay...!!!jogging after work!!!...may the goddess give me the strength i need to actually do it today *pray* |U_U|

happy that everyone is finally happy...yayayay...this is all i ever wanted...healthy minds -- healthy harts -- feel the Love***

lite shopping this morning...more shopping in a bit...i think iv found my new addiction***cant wait for the hartley fair >>>> bargain--shopping --> LICK!!!! (:

wants to b a pirates princess ♥

needs a shopping partner...girls just wanna have fun***

''I always knew you were a killer -- I could tell by your hooded eyes -- You got the ladies in waiting -- lighting up like fire flies -- I always knew you were a killer -- I could tell by your bloody guitar -- You like to stab it into everything -- Then pull it out when it gets too hard''...juliette & the licks

Junk food junkie...take-out temptress....day Of culinary indulgence Or just plain pigging out!!! (^oo^) Oinkk***

if i were a fraction less paranoid...my life would not be filled with such whimsy***

Thursday, June 4, 2009

~Destined by my next mOve~

empty lace lies down the veil
my skin slits deep with nervous water
i touch the cards for one last try
your face is nothing less than their master

i once saw it lay, so bright with fire
of cos - for another boy
hes fate is sealed in times of sand
sifting through - times of desire

one cup, two hearts even a wheel to compare
these cards were out for laughter
i saw the devil lay down the last step
because love was the only answer

i took the picture inside my head and waited for the final glimpse
this tower of burden inside my head will turn into nothing but sin
so i am taking a break from whipping the show - into what i want it to be
ill sit back and watch till your gossip engulfs - the paranoid princess B

cos when the devil wakes - the chains will disrupt and freedom will be hitting our tongues

ill b happy to say hello again! to the lost son of a gun...