~The dispOsable X~

i have begun to ponder after many conversations with an array of personalities, about the repetitive use of mentioning an ex in a chat, that has no bearing on things of the past. so i began to wonder about the stigma attached to always wanting what you don't think you can have and always being attracted to those that have hurt and almost destroy your heart. what is the fascination we have with all things that are bad for us?

it is a known fact that if we love someone we immediately become slaves to an emotion that seems to devour every logical way of thinking.This being said - what exactly is Love? My father always reminds me that Love is just a feeling - LOVE IS JUST A FEELING!!! so what does this mean does it have an expiration date like any other fickle emotion, jealously, guilt, sadness, doubt...and then i started to think really think, how many times have you been in love? how many times have you seen your friends fall in love and out of love? it happens all the time. there is no warning to say if your 'love' is going to last longer than any other person's. It happens every second of the day people are getting their hearts broken and moving right along to the next person.

But what about those that are left behind, those that don't seem to move along faster than average. How do they get back their life, their power and hopefully find true love. Tests done on college students say it took the average student the length of the relationship divided by 3 to get over their ex. This in my personal experience is about right, although my madness did leak into a few more months.

the only way to move forward is to stop thinking about them and start thinking about yourself. Do you really think they stay up all night wondering about you, fantasizing about your future together and how wonderful life could be - hell no! in my opinion, people will always do what they want, regardless of anyone else...yes maybe some of us are emotional door mats but the average person is not going to think about you when deciding whats going to make them happy - unless you do make them happy.

love is just a feeling yes, but it can take away months of our lives, raping us of our youth because we're too depressed to think about anything else or make us so violently insane people begin to think that we really have been chemically effected by the break up. Don't sell yourself short, your misery is already bringing the 'breaker upper'' the greatest joy, do you really want this person to revel in your emotional demise. don't get me wrong, i am not implying that you should brush your feelings aside but rather just deal with it, talk it out, get a hobby even if it has to be a destructive one...kick-boxing perhaps..throwing things from the roof to watch them crash..maybe?, but change, change the way you view yourself first because self pity and guilt will eat at you till you are nothing more than the remnants of a ''teenage love affair''.